“Just be yourself!” Being yourself sounds super easy but for the majority of people, it is not. I don’t say everyone, but many of us are so focused on how we appear to others that we completely lose ourselves, our self-awareness, and authenticity doing so. A recent study conducted by Dr. Tascha Eurich has shown that 95% of all people think they they are self-aware, but only around 15% actually are. Growing up in a society cultivated by religion, behavioral rules, and certain standards, it is sometimes really hard to let your inner child come out and do what the f*** you want. I am not saying go out naked, or steal, or cheat… I’m just saying, we need to figure out what is important to us and then not be scared to stand up for ourselves. I was at the beginning of my professional career when I got pregnant, for example. I literally have just handed in my master’s thesis before my first daughter was born. And then I had another kid. Soon I will be able to go back to work, and I’ve been thinking a lot about, how people will react when they see the big gap in my CV. Most of my friends have already climbed up the career ladder, and have senior positions, or a doctor’s degree in something. But why do I feel this way, and search for an explanation every time that topic comes up? The general public expects us to have a certain professional stage at a certain age, and then you can have kids, family, and all that. Well, I chose to have kids first and then do the rest. With my kids, I have learned to deal with stress, be extra organized, and be patient with the right amount of perseverance. My kids have prepared me in other ways than a job could ever have, and they are the most wonderful thing that has happened to me.
We have to stop letting other people’s opinions and standards define our success and start defining our own success. Stop comparing yourself to what you see on social media, or in movies, and start to live authentically within your own capabilities. Not all of us are gifted to sing, dance, paint, write, or make music. All of us, however, have something unique and special to bring into this world.
How to start being yourself and stop giving a f*** of what other people think
+ Develop genuine self-awareness
Self-awareness can be seen as a meta-skill, and unfortunately, only about 15% of people are genuinely aware of themselves. It helps you understand who you really are and see clearly how you fit into this world. It means being conscious about your own personality, your feelings, character, and individuality. People with high self-awareness tend to be more fulfilled, productive, creative, happy, and efficient. Therefore it is always good to request honest feedback from friends and family to help you see the ‘blind spots’ about your personality that are hidden from you.
+ Be fearless
I’m pretty sure everyone has an idea to do something fun or different once in a while, but then pushes it away, because it seems risky or ‘stupid’. Well, here’s the thing, sometimes we need to take risks or do something new to get closer to who we really are. Try to challenge yourself to do things that scare you a little. Don’t be afraid to do things alone. Doing things alone can teach you a lot about yourself, especially when you do things that are out of your comfort zone. I have recently started doing live streams of my cooking, and artwork. I was thinking about it for a while but always thought that that’s not my thing, just because I was a little bit scared of the fact that I am not really a tech person, and people can watch me live. The process of setting up my room, making the stream look nice, and then actually doing it has totally shifted my perspective of things, and I found something I really enjoy doing.
3. Speak up
Don’t be scared to speak up for yourself. We should all not fear to express ourselves freely and share our views, beliefs, and opinions. Expressing yourself can also be done through other aspects of life, like your appearance, style, hobbies, interior design, and basically anything you’re passionate about. Explore it, and show the world what you like, that’s when your true authentic self comes out and you become an inspiration for others.
+ Self-love
Self-love means being at peace with yourself. It means you’re doing the things that feel right for you. It means you take care of yourself, physically, and mentally. It means you’re doing everything to become the person you want to be, and therefore you could care less about other people’s accomplishments or opinions. It is not always easy to do this, because when things get hard, and life overwhelms us with its to-do’s, we fall back into self-destructive patterns, like not enough sleep, bad nutrition, no exercise. It’s time to break that cycle and do everything that benefits you because once to start truly loving yourself, you’ll be completely unaffected by how other people respond to you.
+ Write in your Journal
Writing in your journal is a powerful tool for your own self-discovery. It is not just about writing how your day went, it’s about being mindful and reflecting on past actions, opinions, or thoughts. Journaling can help unlock parts that you have kept subconsciously hidden. It can help you see things from a new perspective, and you will be able to identify your wishes, dreams, or anxiety. When you don’t really know what to write about you can ask yourself some questions like:
– What does my dream life look like?
– What am I afraid of?
– What makes me feel good?
– What is holding me back?
If you need more inspiration to start your Journal you can check out this site.
+ Meditate
Regular guided meditation will help you find inner peace and balance in your life. Sometimes when life happens, and things are getting messy, we might lose ourselves a little. Meditation is a good way to connect with your true self again and get back on your feet. It doesn’t have to belong, a 5-10 minutes a day is more than enough to slow down and get your mind right.