Self-love is a term that has been tossed around pretty often in the last few years:
“You need to love yourself more”
“Why don’t you love yourself”
“Love yourself first, and everything else will be okay”
Those are statements we are hearing, and reading pretty often, and it sounds so easy. Trust me I have been there. Unfortunately, the bitter truth is, that not a lot of people are truly practicing it, and end up being vulnerable and unhappy. Therefore, it is essential to learn and understand how to do it.
The first step is to understand what self-love really means: self-love is the intensity of focus you’re putting on yourself and your needs. It’s an appreciation for yourself and taking care of your own happiness before sacrificing your well-being to please others. It is not always easy, we are mothers, fathers, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, and our loved ones are important to us, so naturally, we are trying to make them happy. It is important to understand that one does not exclude the other, and practicing self-love doesn’t mean you’re being self-absorbed or narcissistic. It just means you’re taking care of yourself, your physical-, and mental health.
Self-love means different things to different people. For some people it could mean time for themselves, setting boundaries, or treating themselves with something good ( food, clothes, furniture, whatever feels proper). To other people’s self, love could mean exercising regularly, regulating food intake and diet, or treating themselves with a hair makeover. It can be anything, you just have to figure out what suits you best.
How practicing self-love will change your life
+ Health improvement
Like I mentioned before self-love means different things for everyone, but if you truly love yourself you will take care of your body, and that does not only mean your physical-, but also your mental health. Out of respect for your body, you’ll eat better, move your body, exercise regularly, and might join some guided meditation sessions to help you find inner peace.
+ Become mindful
When practicing self-love you tend to be more mindful. You’re being aware of your thoughts, emotions, personality traits, and triggers. Mindfulness also means acceptance of those. It helps to free yourself from judgment and enables you to live in the moment. Living life as happens is a powerful tool to reduce stress in many areas of your life. When I first started really focusing on the now, it wasn’t easy…I had to constantly remind myself. But when you get used to it, it feels like all worries disappear and you can only see the beauty. This reduction of negative emotion leads to a feeling of overall wellbeing, increases your attention, and even boosts your immune system.
+ Better relationships
By loving yourself you set the standard of what a relationship can look like, or how you want to be treated. If you love yourself you’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries. This concerns both, intimate relationships, as well as family & friends. Instead of saying “yes” to everything, you’ll learn to prioritize your own energy and say “no” to things that will endanger your peace. For me personally, this is a hard one, because I have always been more than available for everyone who needed my help, and many times it backfired because I got very stressed out and lost focus of my own needs. I have learned that it’s okay to say no. People you build relationships with will know exactly what they’re dealing with and they will honor your strength and honesty. You’ll end up with less stress and a lot happier.
+ More confidence
Things like insecurities or comparing yourself to others will disappear. When loving yourself you’ll recognize that you are unique to this world, just like anybody else is unique. We all do things that are special, and cannot be reproduced. There is no point in competition because this mostly ends up in jealousy and negative emotions which is something you don’t need in your life.
+ Happiness
Overall, practicing self-love will make you a happier person. By loving yourself, your personality, your look, your habits, just the full package of who you are, you will know what you need to be the happiest version of yourself. It doesn’t always happen instantaneously. It’s a process and requires attention. You are worth this type of attention and it should never come too short. Never forget you are the author of your life and the stories it contains ♥️