Fears, we all have them. They are limiting little thoughts in our brain, that can affect the quality of life, or even lead to serious damage. Some people are afraid to get on a plane or be in the passenger seat in a car. Others are afraid to speak in front of crowds, get out of their comfort zone, dance, sing, or dress a certain way. Our brain is a very complex world of its own, and it is our responsibility to get in there and find a way out of fear if we want to truly experience the life we desire and deserve. If you don’t face your fears, you might end up staying in situations that are not good for you or hold you back from experiencing happiness. I was always afraid to be alone. So I ended up coming home quite often, when I went to college, stayed in relationships that were not good for me, or was just single for a long time because of the fear of being left. Living in fear is not a fun and satisfying way to live. So If you want to start living the best life you can, you have to start facing your fears, and eventually, you will come out even stronger.
+ Find out about your fears
Fears are often related to events that happened in your childhood. It can be the smallest incident, that maybe nobody even noticed, which affects you in such ways that it causes a so-called ‘trauma’. My parents told me they had to leave me with my grandmother for a few months when I was about 1 year old, and they tried to move us from Romania to Germany. They didn’t know if it was safe to travel with a toddler, and how they will find accommodation in the begging. On the one hand, I think it was the better decision to stay in a safe place with my grandmother, but on the other hand, I’m pretty sure the separation from my parents at such a young age has done something, that caused my fear. It is important to determine your fear as well as its roots in order to work on it and get past it.
+ Get some perspective of your fear
No matter what your fear is, fear is real, and shouldn’t be overlooked. Some fears sound more serious than others, but at the end of it all, they’re just fears. My mom used to tell me: ’What you’re afraid of, you won’t escape.’ Well, that sounds a bit drastic, but I guess her goal was to open my eyes to the wonderful world out there and understand that there is no reason to waste time on some irrelevant fears. A way to overcome your fear is to get some perspective and ask yourself a few questions:
What’s the worst that can happen?
Are you really at risk?
Is your life better, when concentrating on that fear?
+ Associate your fear with something that makes you feel good
Throughout the day we’re all busy, working, checking off our to-do’s, meeting up with co-workers, friends, etc. It’s the evenings that get tricky sometimes when the day slows down, and we have time to think. Instead of seeing alone time as something scary I have realized that this is truly the only time I have for myself where I can be myself. It’s the only time I can take care of myself, treat myself and be there for myself. Evening Rituals are a big thing for me because they help me wind down and honor what I have achieved on that day. I love taking long baths, meditate, do yoga, paint or write in my journal. It’s also a good way to just put all the other thoughts into a box, in order to secure a good night’s sleep.
+ Think about the gains
The life you live depends on the choices you make and the risks you take. We only live in fear because we don’t know what’s beyond that fear. We don’t know what happens when taking a risk and doing the thing we’re afraid of. Sometimes overcoming fears means the opening up of opportunities, that would otherwise not be seen.
+ A positive mindset is key
Fear is a very powerful emotion, and it can easily overrule joy and leave you empty if you only focus on the bad. Try thinking about the positive side. If you’re afraid of flying for example, just focus on where the plane is taking you to. It that long yearned vacation with your family or friends. Having a positive mindset is a very effective practice to overcome your fears step by step. To strengthen your positive mindset, gratitude is also an important element. Being grateful is the answer to how to be mentally strong and fearless.
6. Learn to live with a certain level of uncertainty in life
Eliminating all risks in life is simply impossible, so stop acting as if you can. Yes, you can be careful and critically overthink your decisions, but you also need to live. Making a big decision is simply choosing one of many paths through the uncertainty.